


On the Subject of Birthdays

by LizzyLovesPink



Series: Sagittarius Birthday One-Shots [2]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Behavior, Cultural Differences, F/M, Gen, Hostage Situations, Hueco Mundo Arc, Nihilism, One Shot, birthday fic, could be read as shippy or platonic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:27:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27526105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LizzyLovesPink/pseuds/LizzyLovesPink
Summary: While imprisoned in Hueco Mundo, Orihime laments the fact she's likely missing out on the birthdays of her friends. When Ulquiorra doesn't understand and even insists Espada don't have birthdays or any reason for them, she decides to throw a small 'birthday' for him to cheer him up.
Relationships: Ulquiorra Cifer & Inoue Orihime, Ulquiorra Cifer/Inoue Orihime
Series: Sagittarius Birthday One-Shots [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1997080
Kudos: 7





	On the Subject of Birthdays

Orihime was looking out her window when Ulquiorra came to check on her, sighing a bit. All she ever did was stare out the window, as if she was expecting her surroundings to change some day. It was ridiculous and almost foolish. She should just accept her fate and stop hoping for rescue, for change, for anything positive. 

"Woman," He announced his presence, making her look over at him. 

"Ulquiorra-kun! Were you standing there long?" She asked curiously, but he just stared at her. 

"You were looking out your window again." Not a question, just a fact. 

She nodded. "I was thinking...how long have I been locked in here? It feels like weeks or months or maybe even years...maybe time never changes in here, or maybe it does..." Orihime sat down on her bed. "What if one of my friends had a birthday pass while I was in here? I wouldn't have been able to celebrate it with them," 

Ulquiorra said nothing. 

"Hey, do Espada have birthdays? Do Arrancar?" Orihime asked, looking up at him. He just stared back. "You were created, but surely you celebrate some sort of...something?" She tilted her head. 

"No." He answered bluntly. "Birthdays imply one was born and us Espada were not born in the same way as a human is. Why would we even wish to celebrate such a thing? There is no point." 

"Oh...." Orihime looked distraught, a hand on her heart. "That's really sad..." 

"Spare me your pity, woman. Espada are far different from humans, why would we have such a pointless human celebration?" He asked in his usual flat tone. "I feel as though Aizen-sama wouldn't even know what this event of yours is," 

"Really? But birthdays are really fun," She pouted a bit. "You get together with your friends and family, they get presents for you, there's a cake with candles you make a wish on, you all open presents together..." Orihime trailed off. "You really don't have anything like that?" 

"No." Ulquiorra answered again. "Just as I suspected, it is a pointless human activity. Espada do not need to concern themselves over such things." 

"Well..I'll throw a birthday for you!" She decided, jumping up. "I'll decorate my room, try to make a cake...all for you! I don't know when your birthday is, but we can pretend it's now, alright?" 

"You should not waste your energy doing such things. You would not even be allowed out of your room," Ulquiorra said. Where did she even get her ideas from? 

"I could call in a favour with someone. I'll make my daily meals look special! I'll do something!" She insisted. "It's just not fair that you don't get to have a birthday like me. They're special things that should be cherished," 

Ulquiorra turned to leave then, having had enough of listening to her antics. If she wanted to keep rambling on and bouncing about until the sun came up, then so be it. Aizen would likely send someone in shortly to deal with her anyway. 

Orihime, on the other hand, couldn't stop thinking about Ulquiorra's birthday. It was the first time she had really been given anything to do, had an actual plan in mind that didn't involve just looking out the window in the hopes she could spot one of her friends. She could cheer up someone inside, right there! 

She looked around her room, only then realizing entirely that her whole room was black and white. Not a shade or hint of colour was anywhere aside from her vivid hair and bright barrettes. 

Well, no matter. She'd just have to improvise! It's what she was best at, after all! 

Orihime pulled the bedsheet off her bed and twirled around with it slightly, managing to jump up and hang it over her window to make a makeshift curtain. She attempted to push the furniture around in different areas but sighed when she realized she wasn't strong enough. Still, the 'curtain' looked great. Now she just needed to cook. 

Did Espada eat regular people food? Ulquiorra brought her food every day and despite it mainly being bland staples, it was still perfectly edible for humans like her. Well, on the days she did choose to eat willingly. So they must've had human ingredients around somewhere! Maybe even human cooks! 

Perking up again, Orihime walked over to the door of her cell, tugging on it and frowning. 

Locked. 

Well, why wouldn't it be? 

"Oh! But I still get food!" She reassured herself. Once her food arrived, she'd make something special out of it. But what if it was Ulquiorra who brought her food again like usual? Then the surprise would be ruined. Birthdays were the best when there were surprises! 

Having done everything she could possibly think of for that day, she sat on her bed and remained silent, waiting for her food to come. Nobody came to get her in the meantime so she assumed Aizen wanted nothing to do with her at the moment. She smiled while she sat, feeling excited. 

After a few hours, one of the Arrancar maids arrived pushing a tray of food into her room, gesturing to it. 

"Thank you!" Orihime smiled happily and took the dishes, making the maid raise an eyebrow in confusion but leave regardless. Orihime looked through what she got. A bowl of rice, pickled vegetables, fried eggs, a mug of tea, and a pitcher of cream for the tea. It was meager but Orihime was used to it. "Let's get to work!" She clasped her hands together and mixed the eggs and vegetables into the rice, stirring everything up really well. Then she poured a bunch of cream into the tea and stirred that up as well. Finally, she took a step back and admired her handiwork. "There's no cake or anything...not even a candle...but it's good enough!" 

She didn't eat anything after that, just busied herself with tidying stuff up the best she could when Ulquiorra came in to remove her dishes, eyeing what she had done. 

"Ulquiorra-kun!" Orihime gasped in surprise. "Do you like what I did? I made the food taste and look better! It's your birthday feast!" 

"I have no interest in such a thing," He answered blankly. "You were foolish for doing this to your food. I have to remove it and you will get nothing else for the remainder of the night." 

"Wait! At least try something before you take it!" She said, picking up some of the egg-vegetable rice with her chopsticks and holding it out for him. "I know Espada don't eat human food, but...at least try?" She held it out still, an anxious look on her face. 

"No. Food does not give us any sort of nutrition or sustenance." 

Orihime pouted further. "Well...do you like what I did with the curtains? Well, it's actually my bedsheet, but I thought a bit of a scenery change would do wonders!" 

"You do not have anything to sleep with. Why do you keep doing these foolish things, woman?" He asked. 

"Because! I was sad when you said Espada don't celebrate their birthdays. A birthday is such a fun and important thing....I thought it'd cheer you up. There wasn't much I could do in here but I still tried," She insisted. "Almost all of my birthdays were spent alone...sometimes Tatsuki-chan would come and those were fun, and this year, or next year...I was hoping Kurosaki-kun and Kuchiki-san could both come, same with Ishida-kun and Sado-kun...I want them all to come for my birthday," 

"Those friends of yours....that are going to die trying to rescue you." Ulquiorra surmised. 

"They _will_ rescue me!" She said back with sudden strength. "And until then, it's my job to remain positive here! So...eat!" She tried to hold the chopsticks out again, but Ulquiorra didn't eat. She put them back down with a sigh. "Because I was alone...I thought someone like you would relate to that. You know, both alone for so long," 

"I prefer the loneliness. It is peaceful. There is nothing to trouble myself about, nor nothing to trouble me. I was born from such a feeling," Ulquiorra said. 

"So you _were_ born from something!" Orihime gasped, glad to finally get somewhere. "So you _would_ have a birthday!" 

"It was merely a sign of my mask breaking and me gaining more of a conscious mind. I no longer wished to wander around aimlessly looking for souls to consume. I had achieved pure and unadulterated peace. Then Aizen-sama found me and I felt compelled to join him, he was higher in power than I," He explained. "It has nothing to do with a human concept of birth," 

"If that hadn't happened though, you wouldn't be here with me. You wouldn't have become like you are. So it _is_ a birth, and thus you _should_ have a birthday!" 

Ulquiorra was silent. 

"Even if you hated it, it made me happy to prepare everything. I had something to do for once," She spoke up after a time. 

"Why? I do not like this. I do not want this. You wasted your time and energy to make all of this," He stared at her. 

"I hoped it would make you happy," 

"Do these things make humans happy?"

"Of course! It's a way of showing their friends and family care for them!" Orihime finally smiled. "And....I don't think you're that bad of a person. I think..." 

Ulquiorra waited for her to finish, but she remained silent, staring down at the floor. 

"I am removing your food, woman. If you collapse from hunger afterwards, it is not my fault. Breakfast will be force-fed to you as repentance for wasting this," He started to wheel the cart out. 

"Ulquiorra-kun..." Orihime said softly. "I am happy I was able to do this. Even if you didn't like it...it still made me happy," 

"You are a foolish woman. Stop wasting your time and energy on things that do not concern you," He left her then, pushing the food out on a cart. He continued to walk, pushing the cart into the kitchen and pausing for just a second, looking at the food she 'made' herself. The next second, he threw it unceremoniously into the trash. 

The Espada had no need for frivolous ideas nor celebrations. 

Yet she seemed so happy at the thought of doing such a thing, even though she could do literally nothing locked away. 

Why did that woman care so much about these things? 

Ulquiorra would never know nor particularly cared to know. Emotions were useless to someone like him.


End file.
